I have been hearing people mention a lot of “you should have's…” and “If only's…” lately.
These are words that can put us under a lot of pressure and negatively affect our mood and emotions.
Read on to find out what they are and how to change the way you speak to yourself to create more positive feelings.
Words to eliminate for inner peace
Do you ever catch yourself saying any of these self-defeating words?
“What if…”
"I should have…”
“If only...”
“I ought to...”
“I must...”
How does it make you feel when you say them? Not great I bet!
"Should," “ought to” “have to” and "must" are words that cause you to feel obliged to do something whether you want to do it or not. This can lead to you feeling guilty and even more stressed.
When your unconscious mind hears 'I should', because you are not doing it, interprets you as being a ‘bad’ person or not being good enough.
Saying ‘I should’ consistently, over time will undermine your self-confidence.
How to change the way you talk to yourself
Replace 'should’/‘ought to’ with ‘could’
Change “I have to” to "I choose to”
Drop “If only…”
Tell yourself you could have done it a different way and choose to do so next time. “What I am going to do next time is…”
The above options give your unconscious mind a sense of choice.
Swap a negative “what if” to a curious "What good things might happen?”
Look for all the good things that can happen rather than choosing to focus on the negative.
By focusing on enjoying the present and on things that you love doing you'll attract more of the same and lessen your stress!
If you would like some help in changing your reaction to stress contact me today for your free Discovery Session.
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